I’ve already listed the Top 5 Artists you should never dis in public or you will sound like a fool. Now, here are the Top 5 Artists that I believe one has a perfect right to dis in public because there are very, very good reasons for doing so.
These are in particular order…
5. Creed
It is one thing to be influenced by a band. And in this case Creed are obviously –in a very painful way –influenced by Pearl Jam. But c’mon… Lead singer Scott Stapp’s vocal’s are like an SNL skit imitating Eddie Vedder. I’m not saying they didn’t have a few good songs and deserve to sell a few records, but they are the epitome of being the right thing at the right time. But the reason they make the list is simply Scott Stapp. Check out this video.
Scott. Bro. You need to know when to say no.
“Hey Scott, can you sing the National Anthem?”
“I’d love to, but it’s just not my thing. I’m a rock singer that needs a wall of sound behind me to sound good…”
Now THAT would have been the appropriate response when he was asked to do this. It is clearly not his gig and it’s painfully embarrassing. And when there are way too many of these arrogant drunk types of stories about him floating around I don’t think he was forced into it. My guess is he thinks a little too highly of his singing ability. The fact that he can’t drop the Vedder RRRRRRRRR shtick and just sing is sad. I saw Eddie Vedder perform in a little theatre in Encinitas, CA and let me tell you –THAT DUDE CAN REALLY SING. Stapp? No. Bad. Very bad.
4. Madonna
When Madonna released one of her sex/erotica books or videos or whatever I heard a comedian make the following joke: “So what’s left for Madonna? Is she going to start releasing her xrays to the public?”
OK, she had a few catchy tunes in the 80’s. Did she even write them? Can she really sing?
Why on God’s green Earth I ask, has she become this icon? An icon of what? What has she given to culture that has any value? Like I said about Dylan –even if you cannot stand his voice you have to acknowledge he helped change the public perception of what is means to be a musical artist. If Madonna is much more of a cultural phenomenon than a musical one then what did she bring to the table? Nothing.
A few years ago a musician friend of mine was rehearsing at S.I.R. in L.A. Next door Madonna was rehearsing and he could hear her ripping on the musicians, dancers and just about everybody. Just nasty. Please make her retire. Somebody.
3. Metallica
I admit I never liked Metallica. Even as a kid. Hetfield’s growling-mean-guy-singing was always a joke to me. But there was a time I could respect them because they flipped the bird to the big hair LA scene of the 80’s (which was much, much worse), moved to San Francisco and wore jeans on stage -not purple leather pants. And they had a firey honesty that was infectious if you were 12 and mad at the world. But later on their hypocrisy reared its ugly head when they went ballistic on the whole Napster thing. Why hypocrisy?
Because they use to give away free tapes at their shows!
In other words, they were the first ‘file sharers’ that gave their music away for free because they wanted people to hear it. They weren’t thinking about becoming rich. They were thinking about people listening to their music.
But what about after they became rich and famous?
I think the appropriate response would have been to say, “Whatever. We’ve already made our millions… and we’ll still make money on our records even if some kids are getting them for free…”
How about being stoked that people still care about your music enough to want to download it?
South Park summed it up perfectly in an episode where the boys were being chastised about the evils of downloading. The cops brought the boys to see Lars Ulrich crying outside his mansion. Why was he crying? Because since their music was being downloaded and not purchased, Lars was going to have to wait two whole weeks to get his new Tiger Shark Aquarium. Thank you South Park. You said it better than I ever could…
2. Bon Jovi
So Bon Jovi had a few big hits in the 80’s. My argument is any band that wore purple leather pants and pink jackets and inspired these types of hairstyles-
should have died with grunge just like the rest of them. I’m sorry, but he is not good enough to have survived the Nirvana reckoning. His career should have tanked in 90’s and then he ends up doing the summer casino metal band tours with Def Leppard and Poison. Why did he survive? Why did he sell 100 million records? I’m still trying to figure it out.
1. Yoko Ono
Hands down the number one worst latch on, no-talent, wannabe so-called artist of all time. Just watch this video. Fast forward to about the 2:45 mark.
Unbelievable. She is on stage with John Lennon and Frank Zappa who earned their right to be there –what does she think she is doing?!
When Lennon started getting serious with Yoko and she was coming to the rehearsals, she was really annoying the other Beatles by constantly voicing her opinion. How dare she? I know she’s Lennon’s soulmate but who does she think she is? She’s in the studio with the Beatles!!! Have some respect!
When I played with this band and we were negotiating with Capitol Records execs, Capitol gave us the green light to raid their CD bins -part of the seductive process of major labels. So I got a huge box of Beatles and Paul McCartney CDs. Some of the McCartney greatest hits CDs were great but the artwork was awful and some of the song selections were questionable at best. I asked the A&R guy we were dealing with –who had worked with Paul on a number of different occasions -about that. He said, “Yeah I know. Paul put some of those packages together himself and you know…it’s Paul McCartney man, who’s going to tell him the artwork is terrible?”
In other words, Paul earned the right to do what he wants –you know, writing some of the most famous songs of all time and all -and if he doesn’t ask for your opinion, it’s out of line to give it to him.
Yoko Ono obviously didn’t get that whole…’respect’ thing.
Ouch.